Mourning

It is a very, very, very sad night in our house. Our dog Tank (the chocolate lab) was hit by a car and killed tonight. We had problems a couple of months ago with him digging out and thought we had stopped it. But recently he had started it again, mostly when we were gone. So we had been putting him in the old hog pen during the day if we were gone and letting him out in the yard at night. He must have dug out shortly after Jeremiah let him out tonight and ran down the road with Fred (Cindy and Kenny's lab).

It was really hard going with Jeremiah to see if it was him and then being struck with the realization that it was. It was even harder to come back in the house and tell my kids that Tank was gone. We have cried and mourned and even now as I write this I can't hold back the tears again. Somehow I find comfort in writing about it - as if somehow I'm paying him a tribute of sorts.

I think I feel most guilty that this happened because we took Tank from a loving family who did not want to see him go but felt like they couldn't give him the free life he needed. He needed space to run and play and people to play with - and he had that here. That's the one thing his old family didn't feel like they could give him anymore. I feel like I let them down and didn't take care of him like we told them we would.

This is by no means the first dog we have lost. And I know these things happen and it's part of the circle of life. I know there are life lessons to be learned. I know that everyone experiences pain and loss and I should probably just suck it up and get over it - but my kids are absolutely devastated and I wish I could take that pain from them. I know, I know - "it's just a dog" - but he wasn't just a dog to us. I think Tater Tot explained it best when he cried "I can't believe my best buddy is gone."